kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
