I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
