Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
