Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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