I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
