so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
