its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
