Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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