That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
