I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
