I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
