i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
