Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
