Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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