you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
