and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
