in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
