i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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