so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
