That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
