If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
