Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
