I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
