I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
