Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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