whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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