The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
