we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
