I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I need moral support for this bender
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
