i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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