Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Randomize
