even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
