just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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