are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
