What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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