dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
