Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i will never coherently bang her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
