They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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