and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
