the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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