Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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