her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
