ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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