My boss' voice literally gives me gas
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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