you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
