The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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