Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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