hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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