boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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