Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
