he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im six kinds of drunk right now
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
